The Beginning of the End

With another school week completed in Apt and just one left week left in the classroom until the end of my contract, it has become more apparent to me how fast this experience has gone by! It seems like just yesterday I was anxiously taking my first steps into a French classroom. Because I have a teaching school that rotates every other week, I have already had quite a few 'goodbye' classes this week. To see the students’ reactions to me leaving, always sad and wishing I could stay until the end of their school year, makes me realize that I have made quite a difference by being here. It is both encouraging and heartbreaking to hear them say "sniff sniff" with a frown - knowing that they will miss me and that I will probably never see them again. For my "goodbye lesson", I have been having students tell me what they are planning on doing in the future and then they can ask me the same, along with any other questions they may have for me before I leave. This has led to some hilarious requests, my favorite being "What do you think of French men?" I have had quite a few students ask about how I got the job as assistant, saying that I have made them want to consider doing this for year (going to a foreign country to teach French). I cannot explain the pride this makes me feel, knowing that I did make some type of an impact on them. Some have even come up after class and asked for my e-mail to stay in contact. I feel like I really made a rapport with several of the students here, making it hard to leave. I have to say that when one of the students left my classroom on Monday and said "goodbye forever", it really hit me that I won't ever see them again or be here again. It is just extremely weird to think about - I will miss this place!

With Easter vacation coming up (vacances de Pâques), in one of my classes, we talked about what everyone is doing for the holiday. Of course, some didn't know the meaning of Easter at first, leaving some bewildered looks. To try to be clearer, I asked "What do you think Easter means?". One female student who knew the answer excitedly yelled out "chocolate!" I mean, let's be honest - she IS right! Monday I received a surprise Easter package from my parents filled with just that: chocolate (and other assorted goodies too). With so much support from home during this entire experience that I have been here in France, it has really made me realize how blessed I am to have such amazing parents. As this was my first true experience living away from home* in my life, venturing to live and work in a foreign country, knowing no one coming in, I cannot thank them enough for the many times I called them, wrote messages on Facebook, skyped them, etc saying how much I missed home. They were and are always nothing but supportive and passionate about my goals and dreams, not letting me give up and making me see that everything will not always be bright and cheery - those are the moments where we truly find ourselves.

How the French do Easter chocolate

Merci Maman et Papa!

The weather continues to be blue skies every day, with the sun getting stronger each day. Jeans and jackets are being swapped with skirts and sandals; Spring is really starting to arrive around here! Not only are flowers starting to bloom, but the buds on the trees are starting to turn into leaves too. Today, as I was walking around the school grounds in a light cardigan and sundress, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply the smell of Provence. I instantly opened my eyes to realize I had been caught in a memory; the smell had brought me back to my summer studying abroad in Aix-en-Provence, with my long sunny walks to and from school. It is funny how this weather is bringing back so many memories of this beautiful region. I can't help but remember myself arriving in September, sweating and panting while falling down the ramp at Avignon TGV with my too-heavy baggage, not used to the Provencal climate or laid-back nature of the culture. Wednesday afternoon, though I had some work to do, Amy and I went to the park to relax, read and soak up the sun. I think that I might be getting a little habitué to this way of life, at long last.

Monsieur Potter and sunlight.

This week also brought the visit from the primary assistant from last year, Cece! Though I had never spoken to her until she arrived, she was so lovely to have around, extremely friendly and we all spent hours telling stories of our experiences in Apt and beyond. On Monday, we all went to dinner at a new place in town called l'Auberge Espagnole. Again, because Apt is so small, new places don't happen very often - I was pleased to see it quite busy on a Monday night! We enjoyed a leisurely dinner of tapas and sangria, coupled by great conversation and a friendly waiter. We welcomed her to a simple dinner at the apartment on Tuesday and after a quick two days, we said our goodbyes. Doing the assistantship brings people together but having been placed in Apt automatically made the three of us instant friends. It is hard to explain to other people, even assistants, what it is like to live and be in assistant in this small village. We all had a universal understanding and bond between us from the beginning. I am so glad that she had the opportunity to come and visit - it was so great to meet her!

She even brought us some American spoils - my favorite girl scout cookies! Thanks Cece!

 This morning, I officially paid my last rent bills and gave the office my lettre de résiliation, my letter explaining when I would be leaving the apartment and when to schedule a contrôle de chambre (room inspection). This required me to go and see my least favorite French person here: the gestionnaire (secretary) of the school. Every time that I have had to talk to her, it has resulted in her rolling her eyes and getting frustrated that I did not understand or could not say something. Needless to say, I always brace myself for a conversation with her. When I saw her and presented her with the letter, explaining we needed to schedule a time for the inspection, she looked at me, wide-eyed and the biggest smile on her face, and said “Mais tu parles bien le français!”** I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy or smile that big. As we continued our conversation she kept repeating her compliment and while making a photocopy, even remarked to another office worker how well I speak now. As I was leaving, she reiterated this by saying, “Tu as fait bien du progrès pendant ton année ici ! C’est bien !“  I can safely say that her kind words meant and still mean a lot to me, as I spent the year avoiding her judgmental glares. With her compliment, it really allowed me to finally say to myself “Yes, you have gotten better. A lot better.” That feeling is wonderful – I am proud of myself and what this experience has given me even beyond French language learning: a stronger sense of self.

With one more weekend and week until my job as an assistant is done, I have to say that I am a bit melancholic and triste. After so much time spent here, it is hard not to be! As always, I will continue to enjoy the last few dregs of this experience, like savoring the last sip of a glass of magnificent rosé. Chin chin!

*Yeah, I know most people have this moment when they are 18 and go off to college. For me, it was at 23 when I moved to a foreign country. Cheers to attending college in my hometown!

**Translation: But you speak French very well!

***Translation: You made good progress during your year here! That’s great!